Shitashiki Naka ni mo Reigi Ari

Shitashiki Naka ni mo Reigi Ari
親しき仲にも礼儀あり

1. Literal Translation and Basic Meaning
The literal translation of 「親しき仲にも礼儀あり」 is:
“Even among close relationships, courtesy should be maintained.”

In this phrase:

“親しき仲” (shitashiki naka) means “close relationships” or “intimate bonds.”

“礼儀あり” (reigi ari) means “courtesy exists” or “manners should be observed.”

At its core, the proverb emphasizes that even in the closest of relationships—whether with family, friends, or loved ones—mutual respect, politeness, and proper behavior should be maintained. It reminds us that familiarity should not lead to neglecting basic courtesies, as respect forms the foundation of long-lasting relationships.

The phrase conveys the idea that comfort and closeness do not give permission to disregard etiquette or consideration. Even with people we are most familiar with, observing good manners strengthens trust and deepens bonds over time.

2. True Meaning and Deeper Insight
The deeper meaning of 「親しき仲にも礼儀あり」 highlights the importance of maintaining boundaries and respect even within intimate relationships. While familiarity often leads to comfort and a sense of ease, it should never result in taking others for granted or ignoring basic manners.

Why Respect is Essential in Close Relationships
Prevents Misunderstandings: Even in close relationships, neglecting politeness can lead to hurt feelings and misunderstandings.

Sustains Trust and Dignity: Consistent respect ensures that trust and dignity are preserved over time.

Balances Intimacy and Boundaries: Maintaining courtesy in close relationships allows for emotional closeness while respecting individual boundaries.

The proverb teaches that the closer the relationship, the more important it is to maintain respect. It is a reminder that showing kindness, expressing gratitude, and being considerate should not diminish, no matter how familiar or comfortable we become with someone.

3. Examples and Applications in Daily Life
The wisdom of 「親しき仲にも礼儀あり」 can be applied in various aspects of daily life. Below are some practical examples where maintaining respect enhances relationships:

1. Expressing Gratitude to Family Members
In family settings, people often forget to say “thank you” or show appreciation because they assume that kindness is expected. However, expressing gratitude to parents, siblings, or spouses strengthens the bond and shows that their efforts are valued.

2. Respecting Personal Boundaries in Relationships
In romantic relationships, respecting personal space and opinions, even when partners know each other deeply, ensures that the relationship remains balanced and mutually satisfying.

3. Being Punctual and Considerate with Friends
When making plans with friends, being punctual and respecting their time is a form of showing courtesy. Even when the relationship is close, respecting schedules and commitments strengthens trust.

4. Comparison with Similar Proverbs in Other Cultures
The message of 「親しき仲にも礼儀あり」 is universal and resonates with many proverbs and sayings from different cultures. Here are a few examples that convey similar ideas:

1. “Familiarity breeds contempt.” (English)
This English proverb warns that excessive familiarity can lead to a lack of respect or appreciation. It serves as a reminder that even in close relationships, maintaining mutual respect is essential to avoid taking others for granted.

2. “Good fences make good neighbors.” (English)
This saying highlights the importance of setting boundaries to maintain harmonious relationships. It suggests that healthy relationships require a balance between closeness and respect for personal space.

3. “Respect begets respect.” (Universal/Global)
This phrase emphasizes that respect is reciprocal—showing consideration and courtesy to others encourages them to respond with the same level of respect.

4. “Too much familiarity breeds disrespect.” (French: “Trop de familiarité engendre le mépris.”)
Similar to the English version, this French saying highlights the danger of becoming too casual or complacent in close relationships, which can lead to a loss of mutual respect.

5. Moral Lesson and Key Takeaways
The moral lesson of 「親しき仲にも礼儀あり」 is that respect and courtesy should never be neglected, even in the closest of relationships. While familiarity may create a sense of comfort and trust, maintaining politeness and consideration helps preserve the quality of those relationships.

Key Takeaways:
Respect Deepens Bonds: Showing courtesy and respect strengthens emotional connections and prevents misunderstandings.

Politeness Prevents Taking Others for Granted: Expressing gratitude and being considerate reminds loved ones that they are valued.

Boundaries Protect Relationships: Even in intimate relationships, maintaining boundaries shows care and promotes mutual respect.

Familiarity Should Not Lead to Disrespect: Becoming too casual or neglecting courtesy can erode trust and cause friction.

Consistent Kindness Sustains Relationships: Small acts of politeness and appreciation ensure that relationships remain healthy and harmonious.

By applying the wisdom of 「親しき仲にも礼儀あり」, individuals can cultivate relationships that are built on trust, respect, and enduring warmth.